B’s Risk Taking Chapter 4—Ten Things Everyone Should Experience—Part I

B’s Risk Taking Chapter 4—Ten Things Everyone Should Experience—Part I

By Brandt Danals.. But please.. Call me B

To be completely honest, I sat down about five days ago with all intentions of writing a masterpiece of a blog. However, for the first time in about 2 years I sat down behind the keys, and what I wanted to say didn’t exactly come out as I had planned, so naturally, I said “fuck it” and deleted the entire thing. I went back to the drawing board to try and come up with something more creative and enjoyable to read. I’m still not sure I’ve come up with something you’ll enjoy reading, but nonetheless I am more pleased with it.

You’re probably going to read through this and think to yourself, “Wow.. He must have had a pretty relaxed weekend. In all actuality, it was quite the opposite. I actually had a crazy weekend, and no for once I’m not exaggerating, but it really had no significance in terms of life importance, or lessons learned. Just your typical get drunk Thursday, get even drunker Friday, get dared to drink forty beers on Saturday while tailgating with your college President, and accepting the challenge weekend. No big deal. Shocking as this sounds, this isn’t where I found my inspiration to write. Since I started seriously blogging at the beginning of the summer, I have been reading other writer’s blogs to see the type of things they come up with. One of my favorites is by a fellow college basketball player, Mark Titus. Mark plays for the Ohio State Buckeyes and founded Club Trillion, his own blog website where he gives his point of view as a college basketball player from “the end of the bench.” (Notice the Parallel) Anyway, in his latest edition he talks about how great of a summer he had and goes through the experiences he had. He goes on to explain why he had the best summer ever. Now I’ll be honest, I could have spent this entire blog writing about my summer, because in all honesty, I put his summer to shame in terms of excitements, and crazy stories, but that wasn’t the route I chose.

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I firmly believe, that along with risk taking, there are some certain things that every person should try to do in their lives. My list is extremely long, but I think I have narrowed it down to ten pretty good ones, some of which are for comical purposes, and some of which I whole heartedly believe in. All of which, I guarantee you to have a good time doing, or at least pull away some memories that you will carry on with you forever.

#10. Go to a NASCAR Race

Admittedly, this is a little bit of the hillbilly coming out in me, but going to a NASCAR Race will provide a fun filled weekend. Coming from small town USA, my fellow townspeople can probably tell you every single driver on the circuit as they tediously watch 43 cars drive around in a circle from their living rooms every single Sunday afternoon. Not to mention that early in February for the Daytona 500, some people have parties bigger than they do on New Years, Christmas, and for all of you Jewish readers out there.. (GASP).. your ridiculously expensive bat/bar mitzvahs. Now, as much as my friends and I make fun of the people that sit there and yell at Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, and Jimmie Johnson from sofa’s like they went to grade school together, I have to admit, when viewed live, a NASCAR race is like no other sporting even. Aside from the countless empty beer cans, immense piles of chew spit, and un-ending long wavy Joe Dirt-esque mullets in attendance, the races create an environment enjoyed by all in attendance. Now, you have to get there early on race day so you can get the entire experience. You walk around to all of the team trailers and see memorabilia and driver t-shirts. You go to the different events they have such as tire changing contests, and driver simulators. But the best part is the tailgating. Unlike any other sport, virtually every person (namely redneck) that walks through the gate at a NASCAR race is stupid drunk. After all, how else could you convince yourself to go watch a car drive 500 laps around an oval, while the sun beats down on your body. This creates an environment in the parking lot like no other. Everyone is more than willing to share beers, shotgun them with you, and if you are lucky enough you will find that crazy hillbilly of a girl (presumably from West Virginia or Kentucky, not to offend any residents from this area, but lets be honest) that is more than ready to show you her breasts. Once inside the race you can feel the rumbling of the cars as they roll down the front stretch and still hear the loud road as they round on to the back stretch. What a feeling. (AND!! Don’t forget you get to experience that feeling 500 times per race!!) I truly do recommend, if you have nothing better to waste roughly $60 on, you get some friends together and travel to Bristol Motor Speedway where you can get the best NASCAR experience. (Assuming you don’t get to watch Uncle Bart and Cousin Joey throw beer cans at the TV during the Daytona 500, because Tony Stewart blew a tire on lap 53).

#9. Go to a Strip Club on a Friend’s Birthday.

I whole-heartedly recognize this makes me sound like the typical “horny college boy”, and to be honest I don’t have much argument against it. But this actually comes from something I went through in High School on one of my friends 18^th birthday. (Honestly, Mom I know you’re reading this, it was a FRIEND’S birthday.. haha) Aside from the initial excitement that one might have for his first trip to a strip club, strip clubs are in all actuality quite boring, especially the ones around my home in Ashland and Mansfield, Ohio. I don’t recommend a visit to any of the nearby establishments, due to poor quality of dancers, but you know what they say, once you’ve seen one set of boobs, you want to see them all. So even after I put up a huge argument explaining to all of my friends the reasons we shouldn’t go, after two seconds I was out of reasons, and we loaded up the car and went out to celebrate. Mistake number one, telling one of the strippers it was our friend’s birthday. Literally within two minutes they had him up on stage. Not only were they beating him with whips, but they where slamming his body into the pole, on the chair he was sitting on. Now, aside from my uncontrollable laughter, I kind of felt bad for him, it looked quite painful. It was so funny though, so of course we talked the strippers into round two, isn’t that hard when you flash some money in front of their faces, along with my charming smile.. (I mean, for those of you who know me, my smile gets me everywhere in life) So much to our friend’s chagrin, he was again drug on stage and abused by about seven strippers. To my delight I got my twenty dollars worth and had more fun that night than any other time I’ve been to a strip club. (Honestly, these times are limited, somewhere between the number of one and two hundred, but I’ll always remember that trip.) I strongly recommend that if you ever get the chance to embarrass a friend like this on his or even her birthday, if you ladies out there are feeling risqué, that you take them to a trashy strip club where they humiliate them in front of all the old men in sweat pants who are dying to get a lap dance from a girl with about seven teeth.

#8. Experience a TRUE College Weekend

I’m saying this a bit sarcastically, but I also completely mean it. I fully realize that not everyone will be able to experience the TRUE college weekend (Sorry Mom and Dad, and anyone else in their age group), but anyone who still has the opportunity should. I realize all of you old people out there (once again, Sorry Mom and Dad) think that your parties back in the day were every bit as wild as college parties of today. Guess again. An entire college weekend, done the right way, is something that can never be out done. If done right, it will put Animal House, American Pie, and other college movies of the sort to shame, and probably come just short of competing with the Hangover, though I’d like to argue I’ve had some weekends on the brink of that. Everyone knows that at most schools, with the exception of the College of Wooster, (mostly because seniors spend their entire year working on one lame project, but also because clearly they enjoy their partying) start their weekends on Thursday. (Wooster starts theirs on Wednesday) “Thirsty Thursday” is just short of being considered a national holiday on college campuses across the nation. It is the one weekday where college students abroad drink themselves into drunken stupors with the hope of somehow making it up for their 9am class. (Rarely do they actually make it). Follow this Thursday, with every Friday being a challenge to get drunker than you were on the night before and you have the makings of the beginning of a great weekend. Typically after a Friday night, at least at most schools, you feel as if you can’t possibly consume anymore beer for the weekend, that is until about 10am roles around and you decide you need to go to the football tailgate parties, or just start drinking in general. This is when the craziness begins. Recently, I went on an adventure to Tiffin to watch my school’s team, The Ashland Eagles, destroy the lowly Dragons of Tiffin University. Much to my appreciation they did. However, somewhere along the way a good friend of mine bet me that it would be impossible to consume forty beers before midnight. Normally I wouldn’t take this bet, but he assured me that I couldn’t.. so I had to go for it. I fell just short, finishing number forty at 12:07am, but I still insist that I won the bet, because I went on to drink two more beers before passing out for the evening bringing my days total to 42. Only in college is it perfectly normal for one human being to consume around 75 beers in a weekend, and not have it be considered alcoholism. College weekends are all about doing things you can’t do during the week. You get as drunk as possible, see how many girls you can take back to your dorm room without having the other ones find out, and see what all you can get away with, without having the cops called on you. (I can assure you, that in Ashland, as I learned this weekend that is not very much. Thankfully they appreciated my birthday suit celebration). So all of you young kids out there thinking you may not want to go to college, even if you don’t do it for the degree, (which lets be honest, they aren’t helping people get jobs in today’s market anyway) DO IT FOR THE WEEKENDS!! You’ll thanks yourself twenty years down the road.

#7. Work at a Summer Camp

Now obviously, I included work at a summer camp, because I did so this summer and honestly had the time of my life doing so. But there are honest reasons why I believe people should follow in my footsteps. First, I guarantee you will meet people that you will want to be friends with for the rest of your life. This summer I met some jolly ole chaps from England, some kangaroo riders from Australia, some shark watchers from South Africa, a jolly little leprechaun from Ireland, as well as people from all over the States. Some of the relationships I developed with these people are better relationships than I’ve had with people throughout my entire life. And it is true what they say; no one parties like kids from England. These kids just go crazy, they kick back beers like they are chocolate syrup, and never really slow down. Second, there is the food served. Let me tell you it is delicious!! Okay.. I’ll be honest, it isn’t very good, but to the camp’s credit, it was FAR FAR better than I was expecting from a summer camp feeding around 400 people per day. Third, at least in regards to the camp I worked at, there was never a day that I woke up that I didn’t look forward to doing my job (except fucking rainy days when they made me do it anyway). But honestly, you got to pick which sport or activity you wanted to be qualified in, and teach it to the campers, virtually all day. I spent my entire summer playing basketball with kids. What better job could I ask for? Finally, the kids are what truly does make the summer enjoyable. For the first four weeks of my life there, I thought I had it the worst. However, now that I’ve had time to reflect on the kids peeing the bed, shitting on the floor, and waking up in the night crying for their moms, and I’ve realized this is what made camp different from my everyday life, and now I can look back and appreciate it. There were some days when I just thought it was awful, but as I reminisce about it, I realize, seeing those kids smile when I’d pick them up and run around with them or the beaming joy on their faces when I gave in and told them a bedtime story is what being a kid is all about. Enjoying things when they are good, and being shitty when they aren’t. Kids have the beautiful ability to be able to show what they are feeling, they aren’t worried about offending someone because they are upset, or being so happy they pee themselves, they do what they feel, and I think people lose sight of those things in life. I learned a lot from those little rug-rats this summer, and as frustrated as I got with them sometimes, I will not only never forget them, but I will be eternally thankful. As wild and full of surprises as the little kids are, the older kids are just as crazy, if not more. I also got my fair share of them at camp. They present their own challenges, asking you about sex, drugs, and other things that you wouldn’t think a fourteen year old would ask you about, but nonetheless they want to know. Of course you have to brush of their questions, and they get frustrated, but they also know where they can and can’t go. The cabin life is the best part of camp. Interacting with the kid’s everyday, getting to learn about them and their lives, and what they want to do when they “get to high school” and beyond is fascinating. It makes you realize how awesome it was to have dreams that no one could ever tell you were impossible. It’s beautiful as a future educator knowing that kids I’ve spent eight weeks living with, in some cases, are aspiring to go to college with the hopes of some day turning those dreams into a reality. Sincerely, if you get a chance to go to summer camp, do it. They told me this quote at the beginning of summer and I kind of brushed it off, because I thought it was a bit cliché, but they said, “I promise you, working at this camp will forever change your life.” That quote proved to be more true than I could have ever imagined.

#6. Go to a Professional Baseball Game

To be completely honest, I would have never even thought about including this on my list until I turned 21 years old. However, being able to drink at a MLB game makes it an out of this world experience. Cleveland is an amazing city to attend a pro sports contest in, (even though most of our teams suck) our fans are crazy, and our stadiums are insanely nice. I’m talking about Cleveland, simply because Indians games are the ones I have the most experience with, though I have been to several other ball parks throughout the States, never leaving a game disappointed. There’s just something about sitting at a game with a cold beer in your hand, and peanuts flying in and out of your mouth that makes watching a baseball game enjoyable. The atmosphere of the fans, whether it be a little boy at his first ballgame with his dad hoping to catch a homerun, or the fat lady who sat down next to you and is pissing you off because she stole your arm rest and keeps trying to eat your peanuts, is what makes the game. The anticipation of the first batter coming to the plate, and the famous “PLAY BALL” call by the umpire is something that everyone can look forward to. The best part of the game, I really don’t care what anyone else says, comes in two phases. First, at Jacob’s Field (I still call it this because I refuse to honor the name change) there is the “hotdog race”. Anyone who has been there knows what this is. They have ketchup, mustard, and onion, dressed up in hotdog mascot costumes, and they run around the field. Admittedly, I probably find this so humorous, because by the time the sixth inning roles around I’m so drunk anything is funny, but this is the time when you and your friends all pick a different hotdog and you go nuts for it. I always cheer way louder for ketchup than I ever cheer for the Indians. In fact, I think from now on when I go to an Indians game, I’m going to tell my friends I’m going to watch Ketchup’s race tonight (because honestly it’s more entertaining than any Indians game since the late 90’s). And finally, arguably the best thing about any baseball game is the 7^th inning stretch when everyone in attendance takes part in singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” usually led by a drunk celebrity. I swear someday I want the chance to lead this at a game; I will rock that mic like Sinatra. As utterly drunk and belligerent fans, this is the time when you and your friends lock arms, sway back and forth, and try to remember all the words to the catchy little song. (It is also sadly last call for beers, so you have to stock up on a few for the final innings). You can never go wrong by going to a baseball game. Make sure you take your friends, and plenty of money, because most stadiums around the country tend to charge somewhere in the neighborhood of $26,000 for a hotdog and beer nowadays. (Slight exaggeration.. but not much, especially at the new Yankee Stadium, or so I hear).

Well you are probably wondering where the rest of the list is. I feel like I’ve been writing forever.. That is why I have broken this blog up into 2 separate parts. Trust me, you’ve been reading long enough, and the last 5 are unforgettable. You will want to read them at a separate time so you can prepare yourself.

Until then…

Much Love,

B