B’s Risk Taking Chapter 7—Twas’ the Night Before the Season

By Brandt Danals.. But Please.. Call me B

Well as most of you know, I play basketball (sort of) for Ashland University. The following is my take on the season opener for my final season as a college basketball player. Go Eagles!

Well tomorrow night is it. The culmination of all the hard work, dedication, board slap lay-ups, one on one games versus assistant coaches after practice, line drills, secret trips to the water station during practice, and all of the other “dirty” pieces of being a bench warmer in Division II Basketball. Tomorrow I will play (hopefully) in the last, first game of my life (barring the possibility a European team picks me up for my excessive speed and athleticism). I would tell you that I am super nervous, or kind of sad that it is all coming to and end, but I haven’t gotten nervous for a sporting event since I trembled my way into the batter’s box to face a pitcher throwing 95 miles per hour on my high school fall baseball team (I might add this jackass had the audacity to hit me square in the back). But no, tomorrow will be just another normal game. However, my normal game is unlike anything that any of you have ever seen in the world of college basketball. Let me explain how my day will go.

First I will wake up somewhere in the realm of 8:51am and proceed to stumble into my 9:00am class (at which, I will take a full page’s worth of notes, mostly consisting of drawings of my professor and scribblings of “I hate this class” in the margin). From there I will head to breakfast to begin to nourish my body for the immense amount of effort I will need to exert in warm-ups. Then I will repeat this process for my remaining two classes (as you can tell I’m quite the little note taker). Following class I have to go to walk through and make sure that I fully execute the other teams plays so that we are able to guard them in the game, probably watch some film, and proceed to once again go over the scouting report, that I could type on here with my eyes closed by this point in the week. Then it’s off to our team meal, and back to my room to begin to get in the mindset of being a bench warming All-American.

5:30pm.. Head to the Gym.

5:35pm.. Training Room to Get Taped

6:00pm.. Take the floor and begin to warm up.

6:30pm.. Showtime Begins.

Following coach’s brief pep talk and last minute thoughts on Ohio Dominican, it is my time to shine. This is where my personal goal for the season finally comes into play. I suppose I will throw this out to any challengers out there in Division II Basketball as well, of who would like to think they have the skill set and determination to top me in my endeavor. I am quite positive that following my rigorous workouts this off season, I am primed and ready to lead Division II in “PpWu” (Points per Warm-up). I’m quite positive this isn’t a documented stat, but it damn well should be. As I wow the crowd with my numerous “board slap” lay-ups, behind the back passes, and 24 ft. three point shots, I will be on my way to setting the NCAA record (All Divisions) for “PpWu” in a single season. But just wait… It gets Better! Following my display of pure athleticism and talent during the 25 minute warm-up, my school actually trusts me to take the microphone into my hands and bless the crowd with my voice before the game. Now.. I know what you’re thinking, and sadly no, it’s not to sing the National Anthem, but rather to read the Conference Sportsmanship Statement. I mean.. What better candidate could they have chosen then me? Following the crowds luckiest moment of the night, it is once again my time to shine. I get to stand at the end of the line during the announcement of the starters and do LeBron and Shaq-esque style handshakes, though it’s highly unlikely we’ll be pulling off any type of bowling skit, it is clearly my opportunity to show all of the “swag” located within in my veins. Then it’s tip off!! The rest will be history, I will be thoroughly cheering on my teammates as we race to Victory #1 on the season, waiting for my chance to really shine in the final moments. Look out Ashland, should I get in the game, I will be “raining” 25 footers and making people in the stands think.. “Fuck that was deep!” Or.. rising up to dunk on a fast break(or in my case, mildly quick break), hearing all the oo’s and aw’s before rolling my hand over at the last second to perform the best finger roll lay-up you have ever witnessed.

Tonight I can not sleep.. Because tomorrow is not only my time to shine, but more importantly it is also my team’s, the 2009-2010 Ashland University Men’s Basketball Team. I was unaware that a former NBA legend even knew me, but I am honored to have him talk to the media about me.

"One man can be a crucial ingredient on a team, but one man cannot make a team." -- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

I couldn’t have said it better myself. Hope to see all of you at the game tomorrow, and remember.. Go Eagles!!

Much Love,

B